This “Ask Dalya” series covers 17 of your grantwriting questions. Get lots more Q & A, individual feedback, materials, etc. in the Grantwriter’s FastTrack Coaching Program.
Q: Do you have any thoughts on increasing the use of verbs in the active voice vs. passive voice in our grant proposals? That is one of our biggest struggles.
A: So many nonprofiteers struggle with this. And grant proposal writers are no exception! We may have heard that the active voice is the most effective verb choice, but our schooling or attempts to sound “official” may encourage the opposite.
Active verbs pack a serious punch. They can:
- Clarify your meaning
- Engage your readers in your work
- Pinpoint causes of problems and hold appropriate parties responsible for their actions
- Maintain the identity, activity, and efficacy of your characters
- Bring a human face to the issue
- Allow you to convey well-chosen details
- Eliminate excess words, especially prepositions and “to be” verbs
Yes, verbs really can do all that.
Verbs in the passive voice are, well, passive. They connote an unresponsive state of affairs, with not much action or movement. They leave out the subject (who or what is performing the action) and focus on the object (the recipient of the action). In essence, the supposed actor or character is simply lying there passively—like a wet rag—receiving action but not doing a thing.
One easy way to spot passive constructions is to check for verbs that come after a helping form of “to be,” and/or before the word “by.” These sentences leave a lot of questions unanswered with their vague, lifeless descriptions.
For example:
1) Hundreds of women in the U.S. are physically or sexually abused every minute. (We don’t know who is abusing the women, or how or why.)
2) Jobs were lost by thousands of local factory workers. (The factory workers may not have “done” anything, but do you want to make them passive here?)
On the other hand, verbs in the active voice state what is happening and who or what is doing the action. They create a more robust sentence and allow you to describe the situation more powerfully and, often, more honestly.
Look at how you can boost your impact by changing passive verbs into active verbs:
Examples:
1) Original: Hundreds of women are physically or sexually abused every minute.
(We can add much more information about the responsible parties, and avoid focusing only on the women as victims, when we revise it.)
Suggested revision: Romantic partners, friends, relatives, and even strangers physically or sexually abuse hundreds of women every minute.
2) Original: Jobs were lost by thousands of local factory workers.
People may intentionally use passive verbs to distract, confuse, or mislead, by glossing over the subject (the person or group who did the action) and focusing on the object. This strategy is popular among those who would rather not assign responsibility, accept blame, or detail the situation.
For example:
Original: An indication of industrial waste appears to have been detected in the groundwater.
Suggested revision: Several independent groups of prominent scientists have detected industrial waste in the groundwater.
Even if you are not trying to obscure anything, use passive verbs only when you have a particular reason to do so. For instance, passive verbs are fine to use if:
- A sentence sounds too awkward with active verbs
- The people or things doing the action (subjects) are not as important as the object
- The actors are assumed
- You don’t know who the actors are
- You are doing it for effect
Examples:
1) Mistakes were made—but they were corrected!
2) The community arts center has been completely renovated.
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Got a question related to grantwriting? I am running a special series of “Ask Dalya” posts on this topic throughout January. Feel free to ask about any related topic that stumps you or something about which you’d like to hear my thoughts. Learn more HERE.
PS: You will have the opportunity to ask many more questions in the Grantwriter’s FastTrack Coaching Program, Feb. 11- March 13. (Early Bird Discount good through 1/30!)
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