Category Archives: Editing

“Ask Dalya”: Using Stories in Grant Proposals (Part 1 of 2)

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This “Ask Dalya” series covers 17 of your grantwriting questions. Get lots more Q & A, individual feedback, materials, etc. in the Grantwriter’s FastTrack Coaching Program.

personally speaking Q: What can you tell me about the key role of storytelling in proposals?

A: By sharing stories with funders, you will render your messages personalized, catchy, and relevant. Feature your various constituents: clients, volunteers, members, donors, staff, board, and strategic partners. Slice-of-life word snapshots will help put a face and voice to your work in a way that goes far beyond mind-numbing statistics. Telling a brief account of someone’s story can crystallize your message in just a few words.

Ask yourself: How can you show that are you playing an important role in a community of particular concern to the grantmaker?

Think about some stories that might illustrate your answers. Every day, your organization improves people’s lives. And every time that happens, a potential story is born.

Often called “case studies,” these before-and-after stories illustrate how people have found the benefits or results they were seeking by working with you.

The last great novel you read or movie or television show you watched no doubt centered around its characters. Your organization also centers around its “characters”: your clients. Show how your characters’ lives improve as they work with you. Continue reading →

“Ask Dalya”: How to Keep Grantwriting Concise

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This “Ask Dalya” series covers 17 of your grantwriting questions. Get lots more Q & A, individual feedback, materials, etc. in the Grantwriter’s FastTrack Coaching Program.

personally speaking Q: I’m frustrated with the brevity that funders often require of us. Can you offer any guidelines?

A: We know that funders are time-pressed and will probably only skim your work the first time around. So we need to write for that reading style. That means we have to Keep It Short, Simple, and Skimmable (the acronym is KISSS).

Concise statements are powerful. Accessible words and phrases get read. Your challenge is to keep your piece as brief as possible, without compromising your meaning. See how tight you can write.

As Mark Twain once said, “I didn’t have time to write a short letter so I wrote a long one instead.” He knew how much work it can be to really hone your words.

A rule of thumb is to keep your sentences to no more than about 20 words. Most newspapers aim for a sentence length of about 14 words. So should you. Also, the more complex your subject, the shorter the sentences need to be to attain clarity.

Remember that short, simple words and paragraphs are better than longer, more complicated ones. Avoid run-on sentences. Try using words with three syllables or fewer.

Q: What key information should be conveyed in a Letter of Inquiry?

A: A great example of the need for conciseness is the 1-3-page Letter of Inquiry/Letter of Intent (a.k.a. LOI) that many funders request before a full proposal. They may tell you what to include in your LOI; if they do, please make sure you follow their advice. If you don’t find any specific guidelines, include the basics of what they will want to know: Continue reading →

“Ask Dalya”: Advice on using verbs in the active (not passive) voice in proposals and beyond

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This “Ask Dalya” series covers 17 of your grantwriting questions. Get lots more Q & A, individual feedback, materials, etc. in the Grantwriter’s FastTrack Coaching Program.

personally speaking   Q: Do you have any thoughts on increasing the use of verbs in the active voice vs. passive voice in our grant proposals? That is one of our biggest struggles.

A: So many nonprofiteers struggle with this. And grant proposal writers are no exception! We may have heard that the active voice is the most effective verb choice, but our schooling or attempts to sound “official” may encourage the opposite.

Active verbs pack a serious punch. They can:

  • Clarify your meaning
  • Engage your readers in your work
  • Pinpoint causes of problems and hold appropriate parties responsible for their actions
  • Maintain the identity, activity, and efficacy of your characters
  • Bring a human face to the issue
  • Allow you to convey well-chosen details
  • Eliminate excess words, especially prepositions and “to be” verbs

Yes, verbs really can do all that.

Verbs in the passive voice are, well, passive. They connote an unresponsive state of affairs, with not much action or movement. They leave out the subject (who or what is performing the action) and focus on the object (the recipient of the action). In essence, the supposed actor or character is simply lying there passively—like a wet rag—receiving action but not doing a thing.

One easy way to spot passive constructions is to check for verbs that come after a helping form of “to be,” and/or before the word “by.” These sentences leave a lot of questions unanswered with their vague, lifeless descriptions. Continue reading →

Creating Inspiring Documentaries: Writing, Editing, & More

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film scenes[Dalya’s Note: This guest post was written by Robert Bell.]

Creating a memorable and inspiring documentary requires more than just an interesting topic. A strong documentary can inspire changes in society, and it can help people to understand how the other side truly lives. An inspiring documentary will bring people closer together, and it will help to broaden minds in all areas. From politics to art, documentaries can truly help to change the world. While making a classic documentary requires dedication and skill, it doesn’t require a large budget. By following this guide, you will learn how to make an inspiring documentary on any budget!

What Makes a Documentary Great?

An interesting subject is only the starting point for an interesting documentary. While an interesting and engaging subject is vital, there needs to be a balance in perspectives, interviews, and even in editing. If an interesting subject is surrounded by bland interviews, cheesy editing, and subpar music, then the documentary will be a failure. Even a seemingly ordinary subject can become sublime under the proper care.

Quality Interviews

Quality interviews are essential, and even one poor interview can break an otherwise strong film. A weak documentary will have subjects mumbling or providing nonsensical answers, while a strong documentary will have experts and other insightful people giving interesting and intelligent interviews. This goes for both the interviewer and the subject, as one can help or hinder the other.

Professionally Recreating Events

TV documentaries have the bad habit of recreating events by shaking the camera, digitally lowering the resolution, and adding dramatic music. This does nothing but give the viewer a headache, and it only serves to discredit the original scenario. To make a documentary truly matter, you should only use archival footage or just have an expert speak on the event’s behalf. Unless this “retro” technique is done for irony or other stylistic purposes it should be avoided, as it does nothing to enhance the drama of a scene. Make sure to watch as many independent films as possible before getting started, so you can study how other experienced directors executed certain techniques. Consider sources such as these Directtv packages, which will let you pick up as many channels as possible that cover independent films (National Geographic, Discovery, etc.). Continue reading →

Gettysburg Address Anniversary Reminds Us: Keep it Short & Sweet to be Memorable

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abraham lincolnNovember 19, 2013 marks the 150th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln’s historic Gettysburg Address. In one of the greatest speeches in American history, Lincoln used only 2 minutes to summarize the Declaration of Independence and explain how the Civil War was to preserve the Union for “a new birth of freedom.”

Most U.S. students know at least part of his first sentence:

“Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”

The two-hour, 13,607-word featured oration that preceded Lincoln that day is all but forgotten. But his 10 sentences are memorialized. Why?

Lincoln knew the secret of simplicity and conciseness.

A full 70% of the words he used in his iconic speech had only one syllable. You don’t have to be a history buff to get that message.

Most people will take a pass rather than spend much time or energy trying to sort out your words. In fact, the more you can use meaningful sound bites the more effective you will be.

One of my favorite phrases about writing is rather Orwellian: Less is more.

But it is not doublespeak. It’s true. Concise statements are powerful. Accessible words and phrases get read. Your readers are on the go, grabbing a few nuggets of data or insight along the way.

You, the writer, are responsible for mining, filtering, and delivering that gold in an eye-catching package. Your challenge is to keep your piece as brief as possible, without compromising your meaning. See how tight you can write. Continue reading →